Dread and What to Do With It
I woke up the other morning with a familiar feeling of dread.
My dread feels like a fluttering mass that sits in my sacral chakra - emotions, creativity - and my solar plexus - personal power, sense of self.
I slept well.
Yet for no discernible reason, I woke up out of balance.
I’m often busy at night, out on the astral plane. Half forgotten, yet familiar faces proliferate my dreams. Perhaps this affected my waking state.
I resisted the temptation to give my dread a narrative. It was an energetic state. No more no less.
Years ago dread would appear from nowhere. As if an unseen hand flipped me upside down and my emotions would drain out like sand in an eggtimer. I never knew when it would happen.
So I wouldn't eat or I'd binge and then purge.
I hated any disruption to my routine especially around food and exercise.
I was exercise obsessed (the sibling to so many eating disorder behaviours, in fact many would argue it is an eating disorder behaviour).
Miss a workout? My day was screwed.
I needed the endorphin release.
I needed the exercise to allay my fear of weight gain.
As if missing one workout made one jot of difference!
This other morning I’d planned to jump on the Peloton, before catching an early train into London.
I knew a 20 minute session (with my favourite instructor Dennis Morton) would help, but what I needed was to sit with my dread.
Jumping on the bike would be like running away.
So I stayed put.
This would have been unthinkable years ago.
My healer taught me technique I’d like to share (there are many ways to meditate find one that works for you)
MEDITATION BELOW
At some point I was concentrating only on the feeling of my breath going in and out of my right nostril!
So simple.
Nowhere to go. Nothing to be.
What a relief!
My dread dissipated.
I felt better.
I still have a tendency to reach outside of myself and “fix” whatever needs “fixing” sometimes this is what’s needed. More often than not, what I really need is to be still, and surrender to my breath and welcome in the light.
Sit within a shaft of light.
Intend to connect to the highest cosmic energy point pull it down through your crown centre through your body activating every cell with spinning golden light.
Let the energy travel down your body, down your legs and out of your feet deep into the planet core.
Now intend to pull the earth's energy - a soft orange nourishing light - up through your feet and body - that provides grounding and nourishment to every cell.
Take it up through the crown chakra and send it back out into the cosmos to your highest point.
So you have two simultaneous streams of light (white and orange) running through your body while you are connected to the highest cosmic point and deep within the earth’s core.
Just let it happen.
In this place you can set intentions, manifest or just breathe.
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