I Didn't Expect My Therapist to Say This at the End of Our Final Session...
Interesting?!
I reached the tube station and waited on the platform.
My therapist had just summed up our decade together with one of my least favourite words.
I didn’t expect him to say, You have been the best and most broken client I have ever had the pleasure to treat. Our time together is now a book. I’m giving you 50% of the royalties. I am a better therapist, because of you.
No, I didn't expect anything like that.
But in my world, which is a little alien and I am a little alien.
Interesting is the word people use when they mean the opposite. Or can’t be bothered to listen.
A throw off. A throw away.
The person who uses interesting is saying, I’m in this conversation, but not really. Your words have landed, been digested and thought about, but not really. Because my mind is on dinner and have you done something to your hair?
Some years ago I became friendly with someone I met at a Tony Robbins Unleash The Power Within event - if you’re unfamiliar with Tony Robbins watch I Am Not Your Guru - so good.
This friend really leant into Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) which Tony Robbins helped introduce into the UK.
During the four day event I walked across hot coals, anchored moves and set intentions BUT this was during my therapy years (with the “interesting” therapist) and I held the psychotherapeutic process in higher regard as if no other modality existed. I had a bad habit of analysing others with methods my therapist used on me.
In short, I could be something of a S(knob). I read self-help books thinking they were written for other people! Anyway… My self help friend had a tendency to route the conversation their way, if you know what I mean.
But during their NLP years our conversation came alive. We riffed on life, financial portfolios (Incapacity Benefit) or new paint colours. There was a vibe.
And then suddenly.. overnight.. they started to respond with, “interesting” to anything and everything. As if they knew what was at stake without inquiry.
I’ve just broken up with my partner... interesting.
I think I’m having a heart attack… interesting
No, really, call an ambulance!… interesting.
Interesting, really bugged me.
Why? Well, because the word is loaded with anti-meaning but that’s not the point.
Back then, even though my recovery was well underway, I still transferred my issues onto others, without owning them first.
My self help friend didn’t have a problem with authenticity - I had a problem with authenticity because I wasn’t as recovered as I liked to make out.
I was the not-so-genuine one.
The unhealed state says; their issue not mine;
The healed state says; my issue, not theirs.
Being authentic/genuine is one of my core values; it doesn’t matter if others see it or not. Likewise anyone’s else’s authenticity is none of my business.
Nowadays I tolerate interesting, after facts and figures, or how to fix the dishwasher.
But not from my ****** therapist. (I’ll let it go soon).
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